Wednesday, December 24, 2003
japan is good. thanks, japan.
planning to do some kind of grand thing tomorrow with the whole family and such... but i can't wait for the 30th. something warm in the tornado of winter. good stuff.
i think i'll have a surprise for you all in america. i'm doing something i used to do... i think some of you might have a clue or two.
oh... and in case i don't get to say this later this year: happy holidays and a GRAND new year!! you guys have made my life wonderful, thanks.
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Wednesday, December 17, 2003
happiest 16th birthday to mr. kody davis!!! i hope you have a wonderful day, and i'm wishing you all the joys in the world from japan! i love you and miss you, owner :)
~ owner/ownee
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Saturday, December 13, 2003
if solitude is a state in which one is alone or remote from others, then why do i still think about the one person i want to forget about? will i ever find lucid solitude? i'm afraid that i cannot.
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Friday, December 12, 2003
a very special happy birthday to matthew rementilla villacarillo. bestest wishes today! i wish i could be there with ya.
~mommy
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awww... all my hallmates are leaving. the hallways seem a bit less vivacious, and that's when i noticed, when it hit me like a ton of bricks: i've become so used to them being there. even though it's only been 3 months, living together can do a lot for you. and i can tell myself it's only three weeks without seeing them, but the fact is, i'll still think to myself, "i woke up today and i didn't say hi to her" or "i haven't heard his voice today".
i have subconsciously grown closer to them. and now, i don't want to leave them.
and that's why we never say "goodbye".
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Wednesday, December 10, 2003
okay, so it's wednesday, i have 3 more days until my finals are over and done with, and 3 more days until you can find me dead. argh, finals are killing me...
yet another reason why the holiday season should come earlier.
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Sunday, December 07, 2003
a realization i had a while ago, since i moved into the dorms: the past is long and lingering. the future is far and unpredictable. but the present is an instant.
if you think about it, "now" really is a millisecond, if it even is that. tomorrow is the future, so is an hour later, a minute later, and even a second later. by the time i type the letter 'r' (like so), another second has passed, and now that action lives in the past. we talk about the present like it's a long span of time, but is it really? a second before was the past, a second next is the future, and the moving milliseconds are the now. the present passes so fast it's almost nonexistent.
i memorized this poem for my poetry class, and ironically, it had to do with time. i believe i've shared it with you through my poetry site (though i have not linked the famous poet). but i don't think it'd hurt to type it here as well.
carpe diem - robert frost
Age saw two quiet children
Go loving by at twilight,
He knew not wheter homeward,
Or outward from the village,
Or (chimes were ringing) churchward.
He waited (they were strangers)
Till they were both out of hearing
To bid them both be happy.
"Be happy, happy, happy,
And seize the day of pleasure."
The age-long theme is Age's.
'Twas Age imposed on poems
Their gather-roses burden
To warn against the danger
That overtaken lovers
From being overflooded
With happiness should have it
And yet not know they have it.
But bid life seize the present?
It lives less in the present
Than in the future always,
And less in both together
Than in the past. The present
Is too much for the senses,
Too crowding, too confusing--
Too present to imagine.
by his words, i feel that he's saying many valuable points to aid my opinion. the past and the future are imaginable. we wish we had done something right or better in the past, which is a form of imagination, asking yourself, "what if?". the future is always being imagined and envisioned, because we are all unsure of what life will bring us (and divination, i think, is a pseudoscience). but the present, like frost mentioned, is incapable of being thought of, unable to be forseen or forgotten.
frost also mentions that the future lives more than the present, and the past lives more than the future and present put together. could he be talking about the millions of people who gaze longingly into the past? i am one to fit the category, and i reallly think he is right. the past is really easy to be compared to, because it is the only sure thing we know. we can't compare anything to the future, because we don't know. we yearn for facts and reasoning to understand the "why" we ask ourselves. and the past is a very solid reference, whether we like it or not.
and i think it's okay to look at the past. but the past shouldn't hinder us from looking into the future.
i'd like to thank frost for this enlightenment. read the poem again. there are so many other things he mentions, so many other facts that help to express the meaning of the poem. this is one of my favorite poems i've ever read. a simple poem for such a complex topic. frost does it again.
time flies.
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Friday, December 05, 2003
happy 19th birthday to me :)
once again, i am one incredibly lucky girl.
miss all of you dearly. please leave a comment (it's okay if the counter doesn't show. i'll fix that later). that would make my (birth)day.
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003
dude. i just realized that i turn 19 in two days. two days. what happened?!
only two days. ahhhh!!!!!
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Tuesday, December 02, 2003
happy 3rd, baby.
i'm so lucky.
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Monday, December 01, 2003
the thanksgiving weekend in one word: fulfilling.
since everyone's doing the "weekend in a nutshell" post, i guess i'll join their wagon.
wednesday: left davis with the worst case of "runny-nose-but-stuffy-sinuses-and-a-horribly-aching-throat-itis". got to anaheim in the evening. jumped for joy at the fact that it was still summer (compared to the weather up here, that's gotta be mid-summer). jumped again, higher than before, in your embrace. the night was decorated with a crecent moon and i was finally home.
thursday: happy thanksgiving. ate a ton and a half (hanging with filipinos, i learned that eating is their favorite pastime), met up with family. and everything was wonderful. and i must add... ogi; your mom's yams were so good.
friday: busy day. the to-do list grew as the day went on. i did what i needed to do. now, if a meteor hits like that one idiot said, then i'd be in major doom (i think only two people know what i'm talking about... and they were there). good times with the quartet. i almost cried when you hugged me all the way to the car, felsh... but then i realized that the day had only begun. ate lunch and then made cookies for all four of us. found out that felsh and i had yet another thing in common. you are truly my other half. and ryan; our handshake still rocks! no other like it :) and of course, thank you "jop" for a pleasant day.
saturday: woke up freaking early to meet up with ma "bruthaz" at starbucks. you guys haven't changed at all. i missed you guys, ya know. and then for some breakfast (that i never eat, on a regular basis), jamming, and an apartment raid. that was fun. i should have taken your car, vu. haha... it is a honda, after all. afterwards, a wonderful lunch with rossy-poo. the drawing was so much fun. we have to go there again and share that panna cotta dessert again. oh, my goodyness of all goodynesses... that thing was so delicious. :) thanks for all the fun, guys.
sunday: my leaving day. i realize that one can never do close to enough in four, short days. met up with the i-fam group to reminisce about the good times. *allison- physiology will live on! missed ya! *karen- we so matched that day. lol... that was awesome. *evan- it was soooo good to see you again. (did you grow again?!) lol... i missed that smile of yours. *matthew rementilla villacarillo- my favorite son :) i missed you so much. seeing you even for a mere few minutes made my day. *babyquack- i finally got to mess up your hair again, which gave me ultimate pleasure. :) i really hope your collarbone and wrist get better soon. thanks for bringing jingle along, and for planning this whole thing! *nav- the high-stepping clinic when fantasmically. it's fun. and you rock for making that cd for me. the best daddy in the whole world. i missed you like mad, and having been able to see you augments my happiness (wow... bando terminology! watch out...). *babe- thanks for coming with me. maroon is your color. ;) ----- and then the running around. owner- nice to know you're doing wonderfully. i missed you and your unforgettable smile. then off to yuka's. thanks so much for the advent calendar. those always get me in the holiday spirit! jap sisters unite once again :) heehee. then felsh. :) time spent with you ever-so precious. and time does fly. then jay. gosh, if i don't get to see you soon, i'm going to cry a freaking flood, you hear?
and so goes my break. back in davis, but never left anaheim. it's possible.
special thanks to my love for providing lodging for the past four/five days. and for everything else in the world you've given and shown me. shout-outs to the people i would have LOVED to see but couldn't (stupid time and lack of transportation!!).
i indirectly did myself a favor. sound too weird? nah. i've never felt so good in my life for a long time. and i'm smiling because i didn't have to lift a fingernail. confused? maybe another day, i will explain myself. but that's a dependent variable. and god forbid, can't possibly change the independent side. so stubborn.
the best thanksgiving break i've ever had in my whole life. thanks to all. miss you guys already.
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